


It's a Process

by Literal_Sunshine



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Established Hazel Levesque/Frank Zhang, F/M, Frank is supportive, Hazel Levesque is Trying Her Best, Hazel Levesque is a Good Sibling, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Nico di Angelo is living his best life, Not Canon Compliant - The Trials of Apollo, Not everyone is born woke, Period-Typical Homophobia, Recovering from homophobia, Will Solace is a Good Boyfriend, iris messaging, reyna is supportive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:28:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23565310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Literal_Sunshine/pseuds/Literal_Sunshine
Summary: When Nico comes out to Hazel, she really isn't sure how to react. Of course, she loves her brother to pieces, but something is holding her back. It takes a while to get over old beliefs. It takes a while to become accepting. It takes Hazel a while indeed.A.K.A. Nico is gay and Hazel can't wrap her head around it.
Relationships: Hazel Levesque & Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano, Hazel Levesque/Frank Zhang, Nico di Angelo & Hazel Levesque, Nico di Angelo & Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Comments: 23
Kudos: 423





	It's a Process

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!! So I would like to preface this with a few things:
> 
> 1\. I am NOT endorsing homophobia, nor am I excusing it. I've tried my best to establish that this is a journey for Hazel to overcome her flaws. I think it's important for us to have that conversation instead of just shutting homophobes out and not letting them grow and learn.  
> 2\. This is super self-indulgent. I wrote it over the span of less than a week— way faster than most of my projects. It's also the longest fic I've published on this platform by far. There's probably a few grammatical mistakes I didn't catch. Sorry!  
> 3\. The prose was not my main focus here. This one is mainly plot/character-focused. If you're looking for a poetic read, this ain't it, chief.
> 
> With all that said, enjoy the read!

The air was relatively warm for an October afternoon, so Hazel couldn’t help but wonder why Nico was shivering. He was never one to chill easily. Then again, Hazel had never seen her brother so afraid of anything that he would begin visibly shaking— even after coming out of Tartarus, after being locked in a jar for weeks, after facing some of the most terrifying monsters Hazel had ever laid eyes on. No, Nico was not the type to be scared like that. 

The two walked down the street of New Rome, having pleasant conversation made less pleasant by the chattering of Nico’s teeth. It made him sound like one of the Asphodel spirits Hazel had come to know well during her stay in the Underworld. He had come down to Camp Jupiter as part of a social initiative a few days ago, just for the weekend. The whole time, he’d seemed skittish. He’d avoided Hazel like the plague, which was very unlike him. Now, it was the last day of the vacation, and they were going on their first walk.

Hazel looked at Nico’s face. He looked better than she’d ever seen him, with his skin tanned to a dark olive and his cheeks full. Over the last couple of months, she’d seen him improve over time in Iris messages— putting on weight, becoming more fit, even becoming  _ happier.  _ Nowadays, he looked like a normal kid instead of a starving, homeless kitten, angrily scratching at all who dare to approach. But today the image was ruined by his expression: Nico looked positively on edge. Hazel had seen him before a battle, but he’d never looked like this. It was like he dreaded every step, his eyes trained on the sidewalk like it might move underneath him unexpectedly, his eyebrows pressed together and his forehead practically dripping with sweat. Hazel recognized this expression not from her brother but from herself: he was seasick.

“And F-Frank?” he asked. Hazel found herself surprised to hear Nico honest-to-God stutter. That wasn’t like him at all. “How’s he doing?”

“He’s all right,” she said, though her thoughts were far from her boyfriend. “He’s keeping busy with all the… you know. Praetor stuff.”

Nico nodded, but it was exaggerated, like an old-timey cartoon character. “Reyna’s the s-same way.”

_ Reyna _ , Hazel thought.  _ An in.  _ “So you’re still talking to her every night?”

“Yeah, right after I call you,” he said. His right hand reached over to his left. He twisted the black skull ring that seemed permanently affixed to his middle finger.

“Oh?” Hazel said. Internally, she debated with herself:  _ How sisterly do I want to be?  _ “You two seem to be getting… close.”

Nico shrugged, the movement jaunty and unnatural. “We’re pretty good friends.”

“Just… friends?” Hazel teased, then giggled to herself. The laugh was meant to ease the tense atmosphere, but it sounded rehearsed even to her.

Nico let out his own forced chuckle. “Yeah, funny you should mention. Uh, that’s… that’s what I want to talk to you about.”

Hazel’s head snapped at him, feeling a bit incredulous. “You’re not  _ actually—? _ ”

“No, no!” Nico shook his head wildly, holding up his hands like  _ You’ve got this all wrong.  _ “Not like that. We’re just friends. Not at all… Yeah, no.”

“Oh.” Hazel released a sigh of relief. Her brother having a crush on her boss would have complicated things, to say the least. “Well, then, go ahead.”

Nico shifted his pace. Hazel realized that he was walking in a pattern to avoid touching the lines of the tiled path, like a little kid following the “Step on a crack…” nursery rhyme.

“So,” he started, speaking slowly, “remember how I told you there was a bunch of social change? Like, when you first came out of the Underworld?”

Hazel nodded. When she’d first emerged, she’d asked where the colored bathroom was, and Nico had stared at her blankly for a few seconds before explaining that there  _ was  _ no colored bathroom anymore, nor a white one. Everyone shared a bathroom with people of their gender, regardless of race. Hazel had nearly cried. “I remember. It was really great for me. Racial discrimination, gender discrimination, religious discrimination… not completely gone, but definitely better.”

Nico smiled shyly before letting it drop, staring at the ground, and gulping hard. “Uh, you’ll remember, I mentioned the, uh, sexual liberation movement.”

“Yeah,” Hazel said, recalling him bringing it up very briefly before changing the subject. “Suddenly love is free and you can sleep with…” She trailed off as she made an awful thought. “Oh, gods. You didn’t, like, make a girl  _ pregnant _ or anything?”

Nico shook his head vehemently, his silky black hair swishing like raven feathers. He had decided to let his hair grow out. It was long enough to touch his shoulders now, and he pulled it back during combat, but now, it fully hung in his face like he was hiding. Hazel wasn’t a fan of the hairstyle, but Nico was allowed to do what he wanted. “I did not. I  _ absolutely  _ did not. Even the thought…” He shuttered, even more pronounced than his normal shivers. “No.”

“Then what’s up?” Hazel asked. Then she softened her tone, “Hey, this isn’t like you. What’s eating you?”

Nico stopped walking, and Hazel followed suit. He closed his eyes shut hard for a few seconds like he was trying to decide what to say. “So there was another part of… you know. That movement."

“Was there?” Hazel tilted her head. “I don’t think you mentioned.”

“You were brought up in a Catholic school, right?” he said. 

Hazel had no idea what this had to do with the conversation, but she played along. “Yes, Saint Agnes. It was awful.”

“Do you, um,” he started, “agree with anything they taught you? Like, morality wise?”

  
“Some of it,” Hazel admitted. “Most of it, no.”

Nico shook his head again, but this time, it wasn’t in response to anything. More like he was shaking ideas out of his hair, like a horse trying to get rid of flies. “I imagine you were told never to do… certain things with another girl.”

Hazel still couldn’t see where this was going, but she did feel a piece of the dread Nico had been carting around all afternoon. “Well, yes. No kissing girls non-platonically. No, uh,  _ lying _ with girls. I never had an issue with it; all the girls at my school hated me.”

“So, um,” Nico said, “part of the revolution was about that. Girls who like other girls. Boys who like other boys. Romantically, I mean. Obviously.”

Suddenly, Hazel understood. She needed confirmation before she said anything, but the words resonated inside her head.  _ Boys who like other boys.  _

Nico tilted his head back to look at the sky and exhaled with his whole body. Then he looked at Hazel in the eyes for the first time all day. “I’m like that. I like boys.”

At first, Hazel wasn’t sure how to respond. Of all the silly rules and awful attitudes the nuns taught Hazel,  _ this  _ one, the one that might affect her the most from here on out, was the one that clung to her like moss on a dead log. She’d never given it too much thought, homosexuality, but she’d always thought it to be irregular— an unnatural thing, like her mother’s voodoo charms or her own cursed gemstones. But here was her brother… her  _ brother,  _ whom she loved… 

Then she looked at Nico’s face. It had been a few seconds, and Nico looked absolutely doomed to his core. He looked like he was bracing for the worst but was seriously hoping it wouldn’t come to that. There was so much emotion, like Hazel had never seen. He seemed ready to cry.

After a bit, the lines in Nico’s face etching themselves in deeper with each passing millisecond, Hazel’s love won out. “Oh, Nico,” she whispered. She held out her arms and Nico collapsed into them. He leaned down to bury his face in her shoulder, and Hazel felt as his body shook unevenly, like a damaged house after an earthquake, ready for collapse. She still didn’t know what to make of it, but she knew one final fact: she would love Nico no matter what, no matter how or who he loved in return.

Hazel came to the startling realization that he was sobbing into her purple SPQR T-shirt. She wasn’t sure if she’d even seen him cry before.

It was a while before he pulled away, his face red and his nose runny. “Oh, gods…” He rubbed the bridge of his nose like he had a headache. Then he looked around at the families passing by, gazing at him with concern. “I should not have picked such a public place to do this.”

Hazel smiled. “I love you, Nico.”

That got his attention. He looked at her, and then covered his face with one hand.

“I’ll never stop,” she continued.

“Thank you,” he said, his voice soft. “Thank you so much. Oh my gods, Hazel…”

Hazel held out her arm to link. Nico obliged her, laughing quietly to himself. They turned around and started walking back to the camp across the river.

“How long have you known?” she asked.

Nico bit his lip gently. “Since I was eleven.”

_ Eleven.  _ Nico had known he liked boys before he’d even met Hazel. Part of her understood why he’d kept it secret, judging by her mixed emotions on the topic, but part of her wished he’d told her sooner. Mostly for selfish reasons— she’d just like to know— but also so he could have gotten off his chest. Hazel realized she’d been silent a long time and cleared her throat. “That’s a long time.”

“The first time I ever admitted it out loud… Last summer, to Jason.”

The gears in Hazel’s brain whirred (thinking about the gears in her brain made her think about Leo, which made her sad, but she decided to push those thoughts aside to focus on the young, scrawny boy at her side instead of the young, scrawny boy she’d lost.). Last summer… it must have been in Croatia. She knew something big happened there, but Nico wouldn’t talk to her about it, and she didn’t dare ask Jason. Instead of reminding Nico about whatever happened in Split, she just hummed. “Who else knows?”

Nico cocked his head. He looked a lot calmer now. His violent shaking had decreased to a mere buzz. “Reyna. And Coach Hedge. I didn’t tell them. They just kind of… know.” He fiddled with his shirt with his free hand. Hazel chose not to ask what that meant. “And Annabeth and Percy. Wanted to admit it to them.”

“Why?” Hazel asked.

Nico looked a bit uncomfortable, but said, “I used to have a crush on Percy. Just wanted him to know.”

“Who hasn’t?” Hazel said. She remembered when she’d first seen Percy, how she’d almost mistaken him for a god. He was a very attractive guy.

Nico laughed, and Hazel took note of that. He didn’t want her to make a big deal of it; he just wanted to talk about sibling stuff with his sister. Still, it made Hazel feel a little uneasy. She’d decided to love Nico, but she couldn’t force herself to like this part of him. Treating it casually was strange to her. Back when she was younger, it wasn’t the kind of thing you talked about flippantly—  _ ever.  _

“I’m glad you’re being so… so cool about this,” he said earnestly. That melted her heart a little bit. “I was really worried. Like, really worried.”

“I know,” Hazel said. “I could see you vibrating.” 

That earned her another laugh. It was good to hear him laugh. 

“You know I’d never… I’d never try to treat you differently.” She took in a deep breath. “I don’t really understand it, I’ll admit. But that doesn’t mean I can’t respect it.”

Nico smiled and reached for her hand with her linked arm. She gave it to him. “Do you want me to not talk about it? I can just… avoid the topic if it makes you uncomfortable. I just needed you to know so… so nothing comes as a surprise.”

Hazel thought about it. “You can talk about it. I just… don’t… you know… force it. Like, I love you, but I don’t want to… to see anything.”

Nico nodded, his smile falling. “I expected as much. Okay.”

“Are you going to tell Frank?” Hazel asked.

“You can tell him,” Nico said, “after I’ve left.”

In the distance, a conch shell was blown: the signal of Camp Half-Blood.

Nico winced just a tad bit at the noise. Hazel wondered if it had anything to do with his former crush on Percy Jackson. Gods, her brother, having a crush on Percy… it was more than she could wrap her head around. She smiled at him. “That’s your cue.”

He gave her another smile, and he kissed her on the forehead, unlinking their arms. “Later, Hazel. I’ll I.M. you tomorrow. I love you. Thanks for being fantastic.”

Hazel managed a grin. She was still thinking, thinking about what this would mean for him, for her, for every guy she’d introduce him to from here on out. “I love you.”

He waved as he walked backward before turning towards the sound of the shell. Then he turned back like he’d just remembered something important. “I forgot to mention. There’s one other person who knows. Will Solace, Apollo Cabin. I didn’t tell him. He just guessed.”

And without another word, he turned and ran off to go back to Long Island.

As soon as Nico was gone over the horizon, Hazel went looking for Frank. He was in the Praetor corridors, playing War with a deck of gold-leaf cards (Reyna was winning.). Each sat at the opposite ends of the table, the glass jelly bean bowl resting between them. It seemed like an incredibly bad blocking for War as both had to lean out of their chairs to see the other’s card, but they didn’t seem too bothered. The guards let her in automatically, and Frank seemed to light up when he saw her. She loved how he did that, what with his eyebrows perking up and the corner of his mouth quirking to the side like he was trying to fight off a smile and his shoulders tensing in excited anticipation. 

“Hazel,” he said. “Hi.”

Reyna side-eyed Hazel over her cards like she was choosing her words cautiously. “How was your walk with Nico?”

Hazel hesitated, but only for a second. “Good. It was good.”

Reyna looked back at her hand. “He do it?”

It only took a second for Hazel to realize what “it” meant. That meant Nico had planned this, that he’d waited for the last day of the exchange on purpose, that he’d told Reyna about it. It must have really meant a lot to him. “Yes,” she said.

Frank looked between the two, confused. “What? What did he do?”

Hazel glanced at Reyna’s dogs, who were right now still as statues in the far corners of the room. Reyna was very territorial over Nico, she knew. She loved him almost as much as Hazel did, it seemed. If she was to say something offensive… but she wouldn’t, would she? She cleared her throat. “Nico likes boys. Did you know that?”

“Oh,” Frank said, his voice almost bored. “Is that all? No, I didn’t know.” He laid down a card. It was a Jack. Reyna’s was a Queen. Reyna took the cards, adding to her already enormous collection. Frank sighed. “Is he gay or bi or what?”

_ Gay. Bi.  _ The words swirled in her head like her mother’s incantations swirled into her client’s ears and out of their wallets. It was so strange. Hazel had no idea what those words meant, other than “gay” meaning “happy” and “bi” meaning “two.” Suddenly Hazel remembered when she had referred to herself as gay once at the end of the second Titan War. How the other members of the fifth cohort had snickered to themselves and how Jason had shushed them like they were being distasteful. The memory now made sense. “I don’t know,” she said. “What’s the difference?”

Frank blinked at her for a second, and then seemed to remember who she was. “Uh, ‘gay’ describes someone who only likes people of their gender. ‘Bi’ is someone who likes two genders.” He looked at Reyna for confirmation. “I’ve never really done much research into the community, but I’ve had some friends.”

Reyna nodded. “I don’t think Nico likes labels very much.”

“Queer, then?” Frank asked.

Hazel shifted her weight on her gym shoes. “I thought that term must be rude.”

“Depends on the context,” Reyna said. She had put down the cards and was now monitoring Hazel. “Don’t call someone that.”

Hazel nodded, understanding as best as she could. 

Reyna smiled and reached across to the center of the table to grab the glass bowl. “Jelly bean?”

* * *

The next time Nico’s sexuality came up was mid-November. In New Rome, Christmas cheer was setting in (despite it not actually being, per se,  _ approved _ of by the pagan god Terminus, who would interrupt every carol he heard with a surprise appearance and a shout of “Unacceptable!” before returning to his job of guarding the city.). But in spite of all the red and green and hot chocolate, Hazel really would like to be at Camp Half-Blood, just for the snow. She’d only had snow on Christmas once in her life, when she’d just moved to Alaska, and would like to experience it without the emotional baggage. But, as a centurion, it was hard for her to be allowed to leave Camp Jupiter, so she went for the next best thing: Iris messaging her brother.

Nico was in his cabin straightening up when the call went through. They’d established a pretty good system of calling at 8 PM on the dot to avoid conflicts or anything, so Nico only took a couple of seconds to notice her bubbling up from the steam of the shower in the bathroom. 

“Hazel,” he said smiling, approaching the bathroom. Hazel guessed he hadn’t been in the cabin for very long; he was still wearing a winter’s coat and a beanie hat, his ever-growing hair peeking out from underneath the bottom. “Hey.”

“Hey, Neeks,” she greeted. It was a nickname she’d begun calling him. He’d never shown anything like an adverse reaction, so she figured it was fine.

“So, what’s up in sunny California?” he asked. 

Hazel rested her head in her hand. “Not much at all. Same old, same old. I was wondering if you could help me gather holiday cheer.”

Nico gave a side smile, the kind of smile that used to freak Hazel out but now just looked endearing. He unzipped his coat and pulled out a necklace with a charm at the end: a golden bell. “My friends say it’s for the holidays,” Nico admitted, “but I think they’re going to keep me wearing it forever. I have a tendency to accidentally sneak up on them.”

It was so good to hear him talk about his friends. Hazel never really got used to it. “Yeah, I’m aware. You almost killed Dakota a few times, if you recall.”

Nico gave a  _ tsk  _ noise. Then he moved to take off his hat. His hair was now almost to his collarbone. Hazel wondered if he’d ever cut it. But then he pushed a strand of his hair behind his ear and Hazel had to keep herself from gasping. Nico must have noticed the reaction, because he suddenly looked self-conscious. “Oh, this? I got this done today. Err, the other one too. The Aphrodite cabin thought it’d look good.”

Nico’s ears were pierced, for better or for worse. He wore little black studs, maybe dark pearls. It looked good on him, Hazel thought, but his look was getting really feminine. First growing his hair out, and then  _ this _ … It would only be a matter of time before he downright looked like a girl. His features didn’t help; though he’d significantly rounded out, he still had a narrow face, with a little button nose and big, dark, sunken-in eyes. He’d started developing freckles, too. It was only a matter of time until girls stopped liking him and started treating him like another one of them.

Unless that was his intention. Maybe he was making himself look more feminine on purpose so girls wouldn’t hit on him— or maybe, so guys  _ would  _ hit on him.

“Uh, hello?” Nico said. “Earth to Hazel?”

Hazel snapped herself out of her thoughts. “Sorry. It looks good, Nico!”

Nico raised an inquisitive eyebrow. “Are you sure? You don’t sound sure.”

Hazel shook her head. “No, really, Nico. It looks great.” She was speaking sincerely, albeit leaving out a huge part of her opinion. “I think our five minutes is almost up.”

Nico tilted his head. “Is it? Has it really been—?”

Hazel cut through the mist at the bottom of the image, dissolving the connection without Nico seeing her do it, and instantly felt guilty about it. Still, she needed time to gather her thoughts. 

Nico liked boys. Nico liked boys, and he acted like it. Nico liked boys, and he got his ears pierced to prove it. Nico liked boys, and that was okay. She had to keep telling herself— that it was okay.

Suddenly, the mist was shimmering again, and she was back to being face-to-face with her brother.

“Hey,” he said. “Weird that we got cut off like that, huh?”

Hazel laughed tensely. “Yeah. Weird.” 

Nico fiddled with his left earring. “Anyway, it still stings, but only a little bit. It was pretty cool. They had a piercing gun.”

Hazel huffed at  _ piercing gun.  _ “When I got my ears pierced, I had a block of ice, a needle, a string, little diamond studs, and a whole lotta pain.”

“More sanitary this way,” Nico said.

“You’re probably right. My ears got infected in something like a week. My mom got all mad at me.”

Nico smiled. “Hopefully that won’t happen to me.”

Hazel hesitated before speaking. “Does the rest of Camp Half-Blood know you’re… you know…?”

Nico’s smile faded. “Um, yeah. I asked Piper to spread a rumor a couple of weeks ago so I wouldn’t have to have a meltdown telling each individual person.” He paused. “But, to be clear, that has nothing to do with me piercing my ears. I just like the way it looks.”

The way he said that,  _ I just like the way it looks,  _ was so soft, was so gentle. At first, Hazel worried she’d offended him. Then it dawned on her: he was trying to impress someone. Looking at the Iris message, Nico’s face confirmed it. He was looking down, a dreamy look in his eyes, his mouth ever so slightly upturned as he played with the ends of his hair.

Hazel decided not to ask. She wasn’t sure if this was because she didn’t want Nico to feel uncomfortable or because she didn’t want to know. 

* * *

In early December, Hazel saw Will Solace for the first time. Reyna had joined her for the daily Iris message.

Hazel shifted as Reyna looked over her shoulder at the mist. “Where did you even get this diffuser?” Reyna asked.

  
Hazel turned a light red. The way she had said it had been like an accusation rather than a question. As much as she liked the praetor, Reyna was always suspicious of all around her— her strategic side winning out over her friendly one. “I bought it,” Hazel said, “from a shop downtown as soon as we got back last summer.”

Reyna nodded and leaned back, accepting the answer as valid. “Nico often accidentally catches me in the bath. I might consider getting a diffuser of my own.”

“Oh?” Hazel asked innocently, smiling to herself as she dug through her purse for a drachma.

Reyna looked her in the eyes. “Don’t get the wrong idea. He doesn’t do it on purpose.” She paused. “Nico doesn’t like girls, remember?”

Hazel swallowed. It was one thing for Nico to tell her. It was another thing for Reyna to remind her. “Yeah, I know. Sorry.”

Reyna checked her nails. She’d been getting more feminine lately; the acrylics were a recent development. They were purple with little golden studs— the colors of a praetor. It suited her, but Hazel was certain they were out of regulation. Maybe they were pop-ons, Frank had suggested when she’d asked, and she would pop them off during inspection. Reyna took a second before she spoke. “It’s all right. It’s a process.”

Hazel nodded softly, though she agreed with all of her heart. At least there was someone who could appreciate how difficult this was for her.

“I, um,” Reyna started, then straightened in her seat, “was taught about sexuality the same way you were. My father…” Her voice faltered. Hazel didn’t know much about Reyna’s father, but she did know the topic was off-limits. Reyna cleared her throat. “My father wanted my sister and I to have children to carry on the family legacy. He taught us that dating girls would be akin to killing… killing our ancestors. Luckily, I had no love for the man, so when I came to Circe’s island and suddenly, all around me were these women who loved other women… Well, it wasn’t hard to shake my lessons.” She made eye contact with Hazel. “I know it must be harder for you. But you have to put in all the effort you can into learning how to treat Nico with respect—  _ all  _ parts of him.”

Hazel swallowed, but nodded. She didn’t know why Reyna had shared her experience, but she was glad she had. “Let’s make the call.”

Reyna smiled. “Let’s.”

Hazel tossed the coin into the mist. The image shimmered, and then…

Nico had also gotten a diffuser. For him, it wasn’t a purchase, but a gift from Butch from the Iris cabin. Nico wouldn’t tell Hazel why, but he described it as a peace offering/apology. Hazel didn’t pry. He had set up the diffuser on the bed across the room from the bed— really, casket— he slept on. 

When the call became clear, Nico was on the bed, his back facing the diffuser, half-lying, half-sitting and seemingly looking at the wall. He was wearing dark blue skinny jeans and an orange Camp Half-Blood T-shirt. He had one hand in his hair, playing with it, while the other hand balanced him. When he shifted a little bit, Hazel caught a glimpse of someone else on the bed. They must have been talking. The lighting in the room was dimmer than usual, so she couldn’t make out who was on the other side of the bed.

Hazel opened her mouth to speak, but Reyna nudged her and put a finger on her lips. Hazel blinked. Reyna seemed  _ curious. _

Nico laughed in response to something the other person said. “Seriously?”

“I was, like, ten!” The voice was male and vaguely familiar, but Hazel couldn’t place it. “Listen, do you know the difference between what a canine kidney looks like and what a canine stomach looks like  _ now?” _

“No,” Nico confessed. His tone was playful. Hazel wasn’t used to hearing him sound like that.

The other boy moved, presumably to make a point. “I rest my case.”

“Yeah, well,” Nico said, “my dog’s life isn’t in the balance, either.”

“She lived!” the kid said defensively, though he was chuckling a bit to himself.

Nico doubled over in laughter. 

Hazel watched from the other side of the Iris message. She’d never seen Nico have such a good time. He really seemed to be doing smashingly.

“Okay, my turn,” the other boy said. “Uh, what flavor chapstick do you use?”

Nico tilted his head. “What kind of question is that?” Though Hazel couldn’t see his face, she could almost  _ hear  _ the smile in his voice. 

“A good question,” the other kid said. 

Nico tilted his head back. “Ummm, I don’t know. I only get chapstick when I need it, and I usually get whatever’s cheapest.”

“Now,” the boy said, “that’s hardly an answer. What kind of chapstick  _ would  _ you get  _ if  _ you weren’t a psychopath?”

Nico thought about it. “Probably honey, or chocolate. I’m not a big fan of flower scents and all.”

  
“Your step-mom?”

Nico nodded. “And, by the way, I’m counting that as two separate questions, so you’re down to seven.”

The other guy groaned. “Ugh, that’s not fair!”

“It is  _ too  _ fair. So, uh, next question.”

“You have nine left.”

“Yeah, I know. Um, if you could go anywhere in the world for one week, where would you go?”

The boy hesitated. “Is airfare an obstacle? Or ancient laws or anything?”

Nico shook his head.

“Then probably Nepal,” the boy said. “It’s this really gorgeous country up in the Himalayas, and it’s got a mix of Hindi traditions and other stuff. They have their festivals of colors— that’s something I want to see. And, uh, doctor to civilian ratio is super low. Like, super low. I think it’s like 1:1,000 or something. So I think I could help out.”

Nico took a second to respond. “Huh.” He sounded amused. Then he shifted on the bed again. “Okay. Your turn. Seven questions left.”

“Ummm,” he started, “what was, like, the worst kiss of your life?”

“Oh,” Nico said. Hazel wanted to say something so badly, but Reyna was still observing like she was watching a drama on television. “I’ve, um… never…” He didn’t finish, but the other guy seemed to catch on.

“You’ve never been kissed?” He sounded incredulous, like he couldn’t believe it. “Guy like— like  _ you  _ has never been kissed?”

  
Nico shook his head. Hazel could see the tops of his ears turning pink. This felt more like eavesdropping by the second, and it was building a picture Hazel never wanted to see.

“How’s that even possible?” the other guy muttered. “Someone who looks like you…”

“In case you haven’t noticed,” Nico said. “I kind of have a rotten personality.”

“I don’t think so. I like you a lot, Nico di Angelo.”

The moment was tense and quiet. To Hazel, it sounded like a confession. She remembered going to church in the 1930s and having to sit down in a booth with a priest and talk about everything she'd done wrong. That was how the boy sounded. But after a second, Nico just laughed. “That was  _ your  _ mistake, Solace. What about you? Worst kiss?”

“Oh, I’ve never been kissed,” the boy confessed confidently.

Nico broke down in laughter. “Here you are, getting all upset about me never having kissed anyone, but it turns out you’re a coward, too?”

“Well, there’s the difference,” the boy said. “I’m not nearly as attractive as you.”

Reyna, apparently having had enough, coughed loudly to get their attention. “Hi, Nico.”

Nico turned around like a bolt of lightning, and his face went slack. “Reyna. Hazel.” He rushed off the bed and turned on an extra lamp. “Hi, sorry. How much… how long have you guys been there?”

“Chapstick question,” Reyna said. “Didn’t want to bother you.”

Hazel had never seen Nico blush so much. It was like someone had rubbed strawberries on his face. “Oh. Um, this is Will.” He pointed to the person behind him, who Hazel could now see clearly. 

His shoulders were relaxed and he looked like he was fighting off a grin. He was blushing too, but not nearly as much as Nico. His eyes were a vivid crystal blue, like someone had saturated the sky and then cut off a couple of corners. His hair was the color of ripe corn. His skin was tan and his muscles at ease. He seemed very steady, very in-control. From what he had said, Hazel assumed he was a medic. The air of calmness must have been good when working on patients. The look in his eyes was almost daring:  _ Make of this what you want.  _ He raised one hand in a greeting. “Hey, nice to meet y’all.”

“He’s Texan,” Nico explained. “He’s a, uh, friend.”

“That’s interesting,” Reyna said. “What part of Texas?”

Nico and she exchanged a look, like it was an inside joke of sorts. Hazel realized with a start that she was really asking about what kind of relationship Nico and Will had. If it was possible for Nico to get redder, he did.

“Austin,” Will said from the bed. “How about you?”

“Oh, I’m not from the states,” Reyna said. “San Juan.”

“Puerto Rico.” Will said it with a Latin accent. “Represent.”

“Would you shut up?” Nico called over his shoulder. “You sound so stupid.”

Will grinned like sounding stupid was his intention all along.

Reyna smiled a little bit, then turned to Nico. “Well, we were listening in—”

“Eavesdropping,” Nico interjected, though he sounded joking.

Reyna held up her hands in surrender. “Eavesdropping for a while. I think we’re almost out of time.”

“Yeah, well,” Nico said. “I love you guys.”

For the first time in the entire conversation, Hazel spoke. “Love you too.”

Nico gave her a sideways smile and ran his hand through the mist, dissolving the image, and suddenly, Hazel was staring at a blank wall.

Reyna looked at Hazel like she was monitoring for a reaction. “That was quite the scene we walked into.”

“I wish you’d let me interrupt,” Hazel said. “I didn’t want to hear… any of that.”

Reyna nodded. “Good night, Centurion. Don’t let it affect you in the war games.”

And then she stood and she left.

* * *

It was the day before Christmas, and it was time for a holiday Iris message. This time, she had gathered Frank and Reyna together for the Iris Message so they could all talk together— and celebrate. Reyna had bought hot chocolate for the three of them from her favorite coffee shop in New Rome, and apparently, Frank had the same idea, buying the friends a gallon of eggnog (without lactose) to share.

The call went through and before the trio was Nico, wearing a new red jacket over a black Christmas jumper that read  **THIS IS AS JOLLY AS I GET.** He was holding a mug of brown, frothy liquid, the whipped cream that Hazel guessed used to be on top having melted into the warm drink. It was hot cocoa or maybe some kind of latte, she thought to herself. He was still wearing the little bell charm on a necklace.

“Hey,” Nico said. His face was rosy from the cold. He looked less tan than he had in the fall, but no less healthy; his pale skin glowed with warmth. Maybe he was just really happy to see everyone, Hazel thought. Or maybe he was thinking about something.

“Hey, Neeks,” she said brightly. “How’s Christmas Eve treating you?”

“Cold,” he admitted, frowning a little bit. “I’m not a huge fan, but I guess it could be worse.”

Reyna smiled. “You have my sympathies, di Angelo. I’ll keep the moderately chilly here in sunny California.”

“Christmas was always freezing in Vancouver,” Frank said. “We had this really nice fireplace, though.”

“A fireplace?” Nico raised an eyebrow. “I hope you guys were very cautious of the wood.”

Frank took it in good humor. “I sure wasn’t. Anyway, how are things, besides cold?”

Nico shrugged, though he was smiling. “Pretty all right. I helped set up decorations this week. I guess Greeks celebrate Christmas hard. On the Winter Solstice, we took a field trip to Mount Olympus. I got to see my dad, which was…” His face turned a little darker. It only lasted about a second, but suddenly, Nico looked the same way he had upon the Argo II: angry and determined.

“Did he give you a hard time?” Hazel asked.

Nico shook his head. “He was trying to be nice, which was even worse. It was really awkward.” He sighed. “And then my step-mom, Persephone, kept on bringing up fertility. Like, she was talking about seeds, technically, but it was just… a really thinly veiled attempt at convincing me to have children. Marry a woman. All that.”

When he put it like that, Hazel was sympathetic. It was his choice if he wanted to have kids or not, his choice regarding who he would marry. The thought of their father and step-mom putting pressure on him made her really angry. Even if she didn’t agree with it or understand it, Hazel would fight to the death to make sure Nico was allowed to express himself however he wanted. That comforted her a little bit. Maybe she was getting better.

“That’s awful,” she said. “That’s none of their business.”

Nico smiled at her hopefully. “It wasn’t all that bad. I mean, I kind of expected it. Anyway, that happened. And I’ve started teaching a sword training class. I forgot to mention.”

“Really?” Hazel asked, breaking into a grin. “How’s that going?”

  
“I still freak a lot of people out,” he admitted. “I’m getting a lot better, I think, but it takes some getting used to.”

“It’s a process,” Hazel said.

“It’s a process,” Nico agreed.

“Have you stabbed any middle schoolers yet?” Reyna asked.

Nico shook his head.

“Drats,” Reyna said under her breath.

“Personally,” Frank said, “I am very much enjoying this dairy-free eggnog. What’s that you have there?”

Nico looked at his drink. “Gingerbread latte, courtesy of the Apollo cabin.”

“The Apollo cabin?” Reyna said inquisitively. She had that same tone of voice she always used when she was trying to get Nico to admit something. It reminded Hazel of a coy detective in the movies she saw back in the thirties. 

Apparently she had struck gold, because Nico, who had warmed up and gotten less red, started rouging all over again. “Uh, yeah.”

Reyna hummed. “Say, Nico, where did you get that jacket? It looks new.”

“Oh,” Nico said. He shifted in his seat. “ _ This  _ jacket?” He tugged at the open zip with one hand.

“That’s the one,” Reyna said.

“Um.” Nico was redder every time Hazel blinked. “I, uh, went on a date a few days ago. I got cold.”

Frank’s eyebrows shot up. “A  _ date?  _ That seems important. Why didn’t you mention that earlier?”

Nico shrugged awkwardly. “I dunno.”

Hazel took a second to picture it: her brother walking through the snow of Camp Half-Blood with… with another boy. A quiet conversation, a warm arm around the shoulders, the boy giving Nico his jacket. Kissing goodbye at the cabin door. She shook herself out of it enough to speak. “How was it?”

“It was good,” Nico said shortly. “Anyway, I’m enjoying the holiday spirit. Mr. D. is all the rage about Christmas. Apparently, so many people drinking alcohol makes him wilder, so he’s going absolutely mad with power.”

Hazel laughed and pretended not to notice how quickly the subject had changed.

“How’re the earrings healing up?” Frank asked.

Nico pinched his ear lobe. He’d switched out the black studs for tiny silver earrings in the shape of a crescent moon. “They’re pretty okay. Will— my, uh, doctor— has been very strict about me cleaning them and stuff.” He winced a little bit, like he’d said something untrue. “It was Will. I went on a date with Will.”

Reyna smiled. “Fantastic, Nico. You guys go well together.”

Nico smiled and got that dreamy look in his eyes again, probably thinking about Will. He played with the little bell on his necklace, jingling it like a herald for Christmas. “Thanks.”

Hazel knew she’d met Will, but it had been so short, she could hardly picture his face anymore. Hopefully, the romance wouldn’t last long, and her brother would… would  _ what?  _ Come to his senses? Find a nice girl and settle down?  _ That isn’t him _ , Hazel reminded herself.  _ That will never be him.  _

She felt guilty for hoping her brother’s relationship would be short-lived. She loved him too much to keep getting hung up on this.

“Well, it’s almost time for Christmas supper,” Nico said. “We’re having a bit of a party.”

“Have fun,” Reyna said, and Hazel was disappointed Reyna had beaten her to it.

“All right,” Nico said, smiling. “Good night, you guys. I love you. Merry Christmas.”

“Love you, Neeks,” Hazel found herself saying. “Merry Christmas.”

Nico slashed through the image, and he disappeared into the mist. Suddenly, it felt very dark in the room. Then Hazel looked at Frank and it was like she’d found her lighthouse. She smiled at him and took his hand, and he smiled back.

“You gotta find something to put on this wall,” he said. “It’s just awkward, him leaving behind the white brick.”

Hazel nodded. “Maybe you can get me something as a present.”

Frank laughed. “I already got you something.”

“Oh, really?” Hazel asked. “Is it jewelry?”

“Absolutely not.”

Hazel laughed, and then she saw Reyna, who she’d almost forgotten was in the same room. She was looking at the two of them a little wistfully. Then she looked away, smiling lightly. “Let’s get some sleep,” she told them. “The Greeks may celebrate on Christmas Eve, but we save the fun for Christmas day.”

Hazel and Frank agreed, and each went off to bed.

(Frank’s presents for Hazel were many: a few candles, a couple of plants, a gift card to Barnes and Noble in New Rome, a new drawing pad, and, as a last-minute addition, a poster of a horse to put on the wall behind the defuser.)

* * *

In mid-January, Nico cut his hair.

The first time Hazel saw it, her jaw dropped. Nico chuckled embarrassedly as he ran his hand around the close-cropped bottom of his hairline. He’d left it long on the top, but it looked a lot less greasy and more silky than Hazel’d ever seen it before. Hazel knows the term for it (an undercut), but she’d never expected to see it on her brother.

“It doesn’t look that bad, does it?” he asked.

Hazel shook her head, her cinnamon-colored curls bouncing around her face. “It looks great, Nico!”

Nico nodded. “I think it looks pretty okay. A friend of mine from the Aphrodite cabin convinced me to let her cut it.”

“Tell her she did a good job!” Hazel said. She was still taking it all in.

“There’s a pattern on the back, too,” Nico told her, turning around so she could see the back of his head. Some bits were cut further down than others, creating an intricate design of interlocking bits, like a Celtic symbol or a loom.

“That’s so interesting,” Hazel mused.

“What about you?” Nico asked. “You got your hair. You ever think about getting it cut cool or cornrowed or relaxed or anything?”

“Sometimes,” Hazel admitted. Back in the 1930’s, most of the girls she knew would put their hair in head scarfs or try to get it out of the way. She’d been the same way. The jazz stars she saw, though, had their hair straightened into little finger waves. But these days, it seemed like every black person she saw wore their hair in some unique way: fades, box braids, dreadlocks, flat tops, twists… On one hand, it made her head spin. She wore her hair down, brushed through enough to be manageable. But it would be cool to try out something else. 

“I like the way you wear it now,” Nico said, looking at her hair. “I think Frank does too.”

“Why’d you decide to cut it after all this time?” Hazel asked.

Nico blushed a little bit. “Um, I was told it would look good.”

Hazel suddenly remembered how he’d spoken about a boy last Christmas Eve— a son of Apollo, she thought. What was his name? Billy? In any case, if Nico  _ had  _ changed his hair cut for his boyfriend, it was kind of cute.

_ His boyfriend.  _ Those words didn’t sound right together to Hazel, like she was trying to breed together a horse and a goat. 

But it was cute. She settled on that.

“It does look good,” Hazel admitted. Then she thought about if it was Billy-or-what’s-his-face who told him to get the haircut, why Nico hadn’t just told her it was him. Maybe it was someone else. Or maybe… 

A cold shiver ran down her spine. Maybe she’d offended him, or made him uncomfortable. Maybe she’d hurt him on accident with her reactions to other things he’d mentioned. Maybe he felt like he couldn’t trust her anymore.

Or maybe it was just that he was a teenage guy, and sharing about his love life with his sister wasn’t his idea of a good time.

The call ended with the usual “I love you”s.

The next morning, Hazel used up a bit of free time she had to talk to Frank. She’d invited him to breakfast before bed the previous night, and now they were sitting together in front of a cafe, waiting for crepes. 

“So,” Frank said, sipping his drink, “what’s up? You usually wait for me to bring you somewhere romantic for a date.”

Hazel bit her lip. “Can’t I just invite my boyfriend out for breakfast from time to time?”

Frank smiled. “C’mon, but seriously. What is it?”

  
Hazel sighed. “It’s Nico. I don’t know how to… talk to him about certain things.”

Frank hummed in response, signaling Hazel to proceed.

“I think he doesn’t like talking about romantic stuff with me,” she explained. “He keeps dodging questions and avoiding the topic. And I get why, and I don’t even know if I  _ want  _ him to talk about his love life, but… I do want him to trust me.”

Frank nodded. “I get it. On both sides of this, I can totally empathize. It’s still new for you. He knows that. I think he might be trying to ease into it.”

Hazel shook her head. “See, that makes sense, but I think he’s getting  _ more  _ distant. I just… I want him to be honest with me.”

“Have you ever met another gay person?” Frank asked. “An out one, anyway. Someone who unabashedly likes people who share their sex?”

“I don’t think so,” Hazel said, frowning. She tapped her fingers on the table.   


“I have,” Frank said. “I had some friends who were LGBT back when I lived in Vancouver. The ones I knew were mostly good people. But I picked up on a few things.” He took a little packet of strawberry jam out from the silver rack at the center of the table, opened it up, and scooped some out on his finger to stick in his mouth. “What exactly have you said to him that might make him uncomfortable?”

Hazel thought about it. “I told him I didn’t want to force it.”

Frank winced. “Yeesh, yeah. The thing is, the queer community has certain phrases they really hate, and I think that’s one of them.”

Hazel was taken aback. She hadn’t thought it was an unreasonable request.

“Frankly,” Frank said frankly, “I don’t think Nico flaunts it  _ at all _ . Compared to the other folks I’ve met… I didn’t really suspect him at all. Mostly.”

“‘Mostly?’” Hazel asked.

Frank fidgeted with his shirt. “Honestly, I kind of expected the Greeks to be, like, super sexually fluid. You read their myths? Guys are falling in love with guys all the time. Even Heracles, the modern epitome of masculinity, had a dude he liked.”

“Oh,” Hazel said. She’d never heard of any of that.

Frank looked at her. “You might have been taught altered versions at St. Agnes.”

“We weren’t taught  _ any  _ Greek myths at St. Agnes,” Hazel said. “The nuns thought it was abominable and sacrilegious to even touch those things with a 10 foot pole.”

“Hmm.” Frank glanced at the glass window showing the inside of the cafe. “You think they almost have our crepes?”

Hazel nodded, but she really wanted to know more. “Tell me, please. How do I be more respectful?”

Frank shrugged. “I don’t know. Do your research, I guess? Learn more about it.” Then something caught his eye and he smiled. “Whoo! Our crepes!”

The crepes were delivered to the next table over. Frank pouted, and Hazel laughed lovingly. She put her hand on his across the table. He cocked his head and looked at her lovingly with his big puppy-dog eyes. Hazel thought to herself,  _ If I was a man, would I still love him? Or if he was a woman?  _ She decided the answer was  _ yes, _ and she suddenly understood Nico a whole lot better.

* * *

Over the next few days, Hazel tried to learn everything there was to know about the LGBT+ community. She memorized the entire acronym ( _ LGBTQIIA+ _ ) and what each letter stood for. She read atlases about the civil rights movement and where it had landed queer folk. She learned about the word  _ queer  _ and how its use could be offensive or nonoffensive depending on the context. She even looked at some online forums to see how gay people interact and what they think of certain actions, word choices, and situations. In summary, Hazel did a deep-dive into a community she was not at all interested in for her brother’s sake, and she felt pretty good about it.

But conversations continued how they had been. Nico avoided questions like it was an Olympic sport. He was like a totally flat wall— he didn’t offer anything Hazel could pry.  One early February day, she thought about how she wished she could talk to him like Reyna did, make him drop hints with just a slightly different tone of voice. This is what led to Hazel asking Reyna to let her sit in on an Iris message.

When she first said it out loud, Reyna hesitated. “I think you’re thinking about this too much. I’m sure it’s nothing personal.”

“Please?” Hazel said. “I just want to check. I just want to… to be able to be there for him.”

Reyna surveyed her top-to-bottom and back up again. “I’m sure you do. But we have to respect his wishes. It wouldn’t be fair to let you eavesdrop.”

“You had no problems with eavesdropping last December,” Hazel said, trying to sound analytical instead of angry. But she could feel her hands clench, her blood pump. She just wanted to know her brother better. Was that too much to ask?

“ _ That  _ was different,” Reyna said.

“How?” Hazel asked.

Reyna thought for a second, then sighed. “You’re right. That was wrong of me. But Hazel…” She paused, trying to find her words. “Everyone has a fatal flaw, correct? The Greek hamartia. The downfall.”

Hazel nodded.

Reyna took a jelly bean from the glass bowl. “Do you know yours?”

Hazel opened her mouth to speak, then closed it. She had never thought too much about her  _ own  _ fatal flaw.

“Then I suggest,” Reyna said, popping the jelly bean into her mouth while making steely eye contact, “that you stop being so bold. I will tell you— Someone once mentioned to me briefly that holding grudges is a classic fatal flaw of children of the underworld. I believe you, despite your efforts, are holding on tightly to your childhood beliefs, and I don’t think it will do you or your brother any good.”

She looked about ready to leave but Hazel spoke before she got the chance. “What about a compromise?”

Reyna perked up. She was a natural diplomat; she loved compromise. “What kind of compromise?”

“We’re both I.M.-ing Nico tomorrow night, right?” Hazel asked.

Reyna nodded.

“What if we compared what he talked to both of us about? Like, we can get his permission. You can ask him if it’s okay to talk to me about what you guys talked about. I just want to know if it’s a  _ me  _ problem or if he’s just a shy person at large.”

Reyna hesitated, then held out her palm. “Deal.”

Hazel grinned and shook her outstretched hand. “Deal. Thank you.”

They reconvened the morning after the next in the praetors’ corridors. Reyna had to feed her dogs first (although Hazel was confused that they ate, despite being automatons. She decided not to ask.). Then the two of them sat at either end of the table. It was weird for Hazel to sit in her boyfriend’s chair, but she kind of liked it. Made her feel powerful.

“So,” Reyna began.

“So,” Hazel agreed.

“He told me about his week. There was an amazing capture the flag game. His team won.”

“He mentioned,” Hazel said, nodding her head.

“Katie Gardner and Lou Ellen almost had a fistfight,” Reyna said.

“Too many pranks from the Hecate cabin,” Hazel confirmed.

“Nico went on another date. It was quote-unquote ‘really neat.’”

Hazel faltered. “He didn’t tell me that.”

“Oh,” Reyna said. She suddenly looked very uncomfortable. “I’m sorry.”

“Is he still with that Billy guy?” Hazel asked.

“Will,” Reyna corrected. “And yeah, they’re still together.”

Hazel shook her head. “He never mentions that stuff. Why does he never mention that stuff? I’m trying… I’m trying so hard to be loving and understanding.”

Reyna bit her lip. Her tone was sympathetic: “It’s probably just one of those things, Hazel. He’ll probably open up about it later.” She shifted. “Anyway, he didn’t go into a lot of detail. He just mentioned that he shadow-traveled Will over to New York City. They went to get dinner at some Japanese place. And then he moved on.”

A Japanese place. A date between two boys. Maybe it was a good thing Nico hadn’t said anything; what Reyna had just told her had almost been too much for Hazel’s mind to process.

“He talked about the weather and how it had no right to be so cold,” Reyna said.

He hadn’t said that to Hazel, but she wasn’t too bothered. 

“And then he told me he won’t be Iris messaging me on Valentine’s day. He has another date,” Reyna finished.

Hazel’s mouth felt bitter. “He told me he wouldn’t call me on the fourteenth. He didn’t mention why.”

Reyna took a moment before she spoke. “I think this was a bad idea.”

Hazel shook her head. “No. It confirmed some worries, but I really needed to know.”

“Try reassuring him,” Reyna suggested. “Tell him you love him no matter what and that he can talk to you about anything.”

But  Hazel found herself in a catch-22. She wanted her brother to be open and honest with her so they could become closer, but she didn’t want to hear about a relationship between two boys. She found herself going over Reyna’s words in her head every call, debating with herself whether or not she should say something. Once, in mid-March, she had blurted “I love you,” and nothing else in the middle of the conversation. Nico had given her a little confused smile and thanked her hesitantly.

Time passed, and eventually, Nico’s sexuality faded from Hazel’s mind. It was quarantined; nothing else touched it, nothing else interfered, nothing tended to it. Not until it was cured.

This lasted until June.

* * *

June 2nd started a one-week training initiative between the camps, the legion in its entirety coming to Long Island. It was decided that all Camp Jupiter half-bloods and legacies would stay in their Greek cabin of origin. If there was no Greek equivalent, like for Reyna, there would be a separate temporary camp set up at the outskirts of the woods. 

Frank was outrageously worried about staying in the Ares cabin. “I don’t even get along with the Mars kids,” he complained as they filed into camp. He walked alongside Hazel and Reyna, who were both on horseback. The buses had dropped the Romans off about a mile away from Camp, and for most of it, Frank had been a horse himself. But now he was back to begin regular old human Frank.

Hazel wanted to kiss him on the cheek, but it would be difficult to lean down so far. “I’m sure you’ll be fine. You’re still family.”

“Do the children of the Greek versions of our parents technically count as family?” Reyna pondered.

“I think so,” Hazel said.

Reyna smiled a little bit, like she found the thought comforting.

When the Romans made it to the valley, camp director Chiron the centaur was waiting for them. He and Reyna gave speeches about objectives and expectations, along with rules of conduct and customs and courtesies. After that, everyone was home free to put things in their cabins and get themselves acquainted and settled in before dinner, which would be served at 6 P.M. (sharp, Chiron clarified). It was about 2 now, so Hazel considered this time an opportunity to catch up with her brother.

Frank scratched his head when she told him this. “You guys have been Iris messaging every day.”

“Yes,” Hazel said, “but seeing each other through the mist and actually interacting are two different things.”

They walked together to the stables to put their horses away, and Reyna pretended not to notice them talking. Once Hazel’s ride was secured, she looked at Frank with a little smile.

“I guess you’d better head over to Cabin 5,” she said.

Frank wiped his brow. The weather was quite warm, but Hazel suspected it had more to do with the bloodthirsty Greeks Frank was about to encounter. “Just in case… meet me in the strawberry fields if anything goes awry.”

Hazel placed a hand on his cheek gently. He leaned into it. “Deal,” she said.

With that, she walked off with her luggage to find Cabin 13.

She had stayed in the cabin before, but she’d hated it then. Whoever designed it must have had a very negative impression of Hades kids. Looking at the building from the outside, it was pretty intimidating, what with its black paint and the torches with green fire on either side of the door, but she knew Nico had been working on renovating it on the inside. When she opened the door, an entirely new image greeted her. The walls were still painted black, but everything else looked different. There had been windows put in with black-out curtains drawn back to expose the sunny afternoon. The coffin-shaped beds that used to line the room had been replaced with sleek but large modern-looking designs, with steel frames. The black tiled floor had been replaced with grey wooden planks. On one wall, Nico had hung a poster that said nothing except “Ugh.” There was a curtain pole cutting the room in half, probably installed with Hazel in particular in mind. Even the shrine in the back of the room had a makeover, the little wooden table that housed jewels and a skull being replaced with a metal one with diamonds encrusted into the surface and legs. Hazel was so impressed, she didn’t notice Will and Nico at first.

The two of them were on Nico’s chosen bed, and they were deeply asleep.

Will laid on his back, his face relaxed in the sunlight streaming through the windows. He had one arm wrapped around Nico, who was curled around Will’s side like a cat napping alongside its owner. Nico’s face was nuzzled into Will’s neck, on hand on his chest in a loose fist. They looked so perfect in the lazy sun of a young afternoon, sleeping without a care in the world. They fit together, like a lock and its key— like the roller skates Hazel owned as a child. Looking at them, all of Hazel’s reservations, all of her discomfort and hesitancy, everything holding her back from loving every piece of Nico like she wanted to— it all dissipated in the June air.

Hazel considered going about her business without waking up, but she was gripped with a new fascination, a need to know everything about Will and his relationship with Nico. She decided it would be worse if she just left them be.

Nico had always been a deep sleeper, but when Hazel called his name, his entire body instantly tensed. He pulled his face out of the crook of Will’s neck and faced Hazel, moving so quickly the bell around his neck jingled. Hazel thought she saw traces of fear on his face. He pulled up the blankets over his chest, though he was completely clothed. “Hazel!”

Will opened his eyes. “Neeks, what…?”

Nico stood and came over to Hazel to hug her. It was tighter than usual for sure.

“Oomph,” Hazel said. “Somebody missed me.”

Nico pulled back and gave her a small smile before darkening. “Um, I’m sorry about…”

Hazel shook her head. “Don’t apologize. I don’t mind.”

“Really?” Nico sounded a bit more stunned than Hazel wanted, but she figured she deserved it.

“Not at all,” she said, and this time, it was completely true.

Will sat up in the bed. He was making no efforts to get up. Hazel could dig that confidence.

“Hey,” Hazel said. “I’m Hazel. I know I’ve seen you, but we didn’t really get the chance to talk.” She walked over and held out her hand. 

Will smiled and shook it. “Will. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“I’m glad,” Hazel said. Then, more quietly so Nico couldn’t hear. “Thanks for what you’re doing with Nico. I’ve never seen him as happy as he’s been these last few months.”

“My pleasure,” he said. “Though I can’t take all of the credit. Nico’s working hard to make himself better and I love… I really admire that about him.”

Hazel wondered if Will was about to say he loved her brother. If he was, why hadn’t he? Was it because of her, or because he was scared to admit it? 

She straightened, turning back to Nico. “I was just stopping in to drop off my stuff and maybe catch up, but if you’re busy…”

“No, no,” Nico said. “Not busy at all. I can take you on a walk.”

“No,” Hazel said, feeling a little mischievous. “Don’t mind little old me. It’s important to get enough sleep.”

Nico blushed. “Seriously, Hazel. I’ll take you through the woods. The monsters are scared of me; they’ll stay away.”

“The monsters stay away because they think you smell bad,” Will said. He held his arms out like a child wanting to be picked up. “Yuck.”

“Shut up,” Nico said. Then he turned to Hazel. “I tried some new cologne. He absolutely loves it.” Nico walked over to the opposite side of the bed as Hazel and took one of Will’s hands.

“I do not,” Will said indignantly, but his tone was playful.

“You love it,” Nico insisted teasingly.

“I love  _ something,”  _ Will grumbled. 

Hazel smiled. She found that she really enjoyed watching the two of them interact. They were so complimentary, such a good couple… some alarm in her head was still screaming RED ALERT, but it was drowned out by Nico and Will’s friendly bickering. 

“I’ll leave you to it,” she said.

Nico still seemed put off, but Will turned to her and mouthed  _ Thanks. _

As she walked out, she heard Will say to Nico, “She seems nice.”

“I told you she was,” Nico replied.

Hazel found Frank in the strawberry fields picking at the little green leaves. When he noticed her coming, he stood and waved his hand, smiling.

“Hey, darling,” Hazel said.

“Hazel.” Frank was grinning from ear to ear. “I’m so happy to see a friendly face.”

“Why?” Hazel asked innocently. “Are the Ares kids… not friendly?”

Frank blinked. “That’s not a serious question, is it?”

Hazel laughed and reached for his hand. He clasped her small fingers in between his beefy ones.

“How’s Nico?” Frank asked.

Hazel grinned. “Nico’s doing just fine.” She described what she saw at the cabin, how sweet Will had been, how good he and Nico were together.

Frank squeezed her hand. “I’m so glad you’re making progress.”

“I’m glad, too,” Hazel said.

The two of them enjoyed the afternoon together quietly walking through the strawberry fields. It felt like three hours passed in thirty minutes, and suddenly, it was dinner time.

Frank cringed at the sight of his Greek brethren, but Hazel coaxed him into joining them. “C’mon,” she said. “You have battled all kinds of crazy monsters— and Giants! You can handle a few kids whose only hobby is snorting testosterone.”

He smiled and reluctantly walked towards them. Nico was sitting alone at the Hades table, looking very bored.

“Mind if I sit here?” Hazel asked jokingly.

Nico waved his hand at the empty side of the table across from him. Hazel picked the most direct one.

“I usually sit with the Apollo cabin,” Nico said. “‘M glad you’re here. Otherwise, I’d loathe this.”

“Usually sit with Apollo, eh?” Hazel asked.

Nico bit his lip. “A while back, I was diagnosed with a mood disorder. Can’t sit alone or skeletons will come crawling out of the floor. Bad time for everyone. Chiron was happy to let me make the switch.”

“And Will was the one to diagnose it?” 

Nico smiled. “You catch on fast.”

Hazel poked a fork into her food— lean Mediterranean chicken and asparagus. “You haven’t really told me… well,  _ anything  _ about your relationship.”

Nico shifted uncomfortably. “I figured you wouldn’t want to know.”

“I didn’t,” Hazel said, “until today. And now I do. What happened? How did it start? What was your first date like? How far into this are you?”

Nico held up his hands. “Woah. One question at a time.” He was smiling. “Uh, I told him I wanted to go on a date. He agreed. We managed to talk the wood nymphs out of releasing monsters on us or telling Chiron or Mr. D when we went into the forest after curfew. We took a walk. He brought some candy his mom sent him in a care package.”

“Does his mom know he’s a half-blood?” Hazel asked.

Nico nodded. “Otherwise, she wouldn’t let him stay year-round. Loves him to pieces.”

“What does she do?” Hazel asked. “A doctor, like her son?”

“No,” Nico said. “Ironically enough, she’s a country singer. Moderately successful, but really beautiful voice. But in a cruel twist of fate—” he said that part intentionally melodramatically— “Will has absolutely no vocal talent. He couldn’t sing himself out of a paper bag.”

“Really that bad?” Hazel said.

Nico hummed. “He likes it when I sing, though. I never really thought of myself as a good singer before being with him.” He brushed a string of hair out of his face, behind his ear. “I really like him, Hazel.”

There was something so vulnerable there, like a shade of innocence Hazel had never witnessed on her brother before. He was a hardened kind of guy, rough from tragedy after tragedy, pain after pain. He was kind of like a fresh French baguette; he only got worse and harder over time. She’d seen him slash through armies of monsters, commanding shadows and ghouls around him to fall in line— a kind of authority that Hazel had never been able to see in herself. In battle, he was confident but pessimistic. He’d used his pain as a weapon, both metaphorically and literally. Nowadays, things were so different. He had softened, like the baguette was dipped in tea. He seemed so shy, so demure and sweet and pure. It was bizarre, but Hazel had to admit— she was overjoyed to see him happy.

For the first time since she’d met him, Hazel felt an overwhelming need to protect him— not just in a physical sense, as protecting him from monsters and giants, but also in an emotional way. If Will did one thing—  _ one thing _ — to hurt Nico, Hazel might lose control.

“You seem really invested,” Hazel said.

Nico blinked, then his expression changed. His face when from contemplative and in love to somewhere between exasperated and downright angry. His voice was bordering on annoyance, “Hazel, if all you’re going to do is criticize my relationship—”

“I’m not—!” Hazel waved her arms frantically. “I’m not trying to criticize anything! I didn’t mean it like that, I swear.”

“Are you sure?” Nico said. “Are you absolutely sure?”

Hazel nodded. Something in her chest had gone  _ ker-plunk _ , like a stone had been dropped in water instead of being skipped across a clear, smooth surface. “I really didn’t mean offense. I just meant… I mean, you look like…”

“What?” Nico snapped.

“You look like you’re in  _ love _ , Nico,” Hazel said quietly.

All of the tension dropped from Nico’s face.

Hazel wiped at her face with a napkin and got up from the table, not wanting to dig herself a deeper hole. Before she got the chance to walk away, though, Nico grabbed her wrist. He looked up at her, his eyes big and brown and pleading. He looked the same way he had when he came out to her: absolutely terrified. “I think I am.”

Hazel said nothing but bent down to kiss his forehead. Then she went over to the Ares Cabin’s table and grabbed Frank’s arm. “Hey, let’s go.”

Frank did not need to be told twice.

Due to the overwhelming number of people, half-bloods came in and out of the mess hall as they pleased. This helped Frank and Hazel make their escape, being two of five people leaving and passing six coming in on their way. 

“How long does it take to fall in love?” Hazel asked.

Frank side-eyed her. “Socially, scientifically, or hypothetically?”

Hazel smiled. It was such a  _ Frank  _ answer, and that was just how she liked it. “For the sake of argument, all of the above.”

“Well,” Frank started, “I think most guys admit they’re in love within, like, four months or something. Girls take a little longer, I think. From a scientific angle, I wanna say it can potentially be at first sight.” He paused. “That was me with you, you know.”

Hazel’s heart melted, but Frank kept talking like he hadn’t just said something crazily sappy and sweet.

“Hypothetically…” he said, then stopped. “Well, I guess you could fall in love by chatting online or through letters.”

“Huh,” Hazel said, still dreamy from his earlier comment.

“Why do you ask?”

She looked at the path. “I think Nico’s in love with Will.”

Frank’s eyebrows shot up. “Huh. Well, they’ve been together for, like, six months. It’s not uncommon.”

“... And he hasn’t told him yet.”

“Oh,” Frank said. “Well, that complicates things.”

“You said most guys take four months or something, right?” Hazel asked.

“Yeah.”

“So why, pray tell, would Nico, who has been with his… uh, boyfriend… for  _ six entire months _ , not tell him he loves him?”

Frank shrugged. “You can’t say you’ve never noticed Nico has some pretty intense trust issues.”

Hazel shook her head. “I just want them to be happy. I want… I want this to last.”

She said it as she realized it.

“I don’t want to see Nico sad and angry all the time anymore,” she said. The feelings were just pouring out of her, smooth as water from a vase. “I like him being happy. I like Will, too. He’s really nice, Frank. I just…” Hazel looked at her hands. “I think I may have burned my bridges.”

Frank shook his head. “I don’t think so, Hazel.”

“You know,” Hazel said, “I was talking to Reyna recently. She told me that a classic fatal flaw of Pluto kids is holding grudges. At the time, she was talking about me, but what if…?”

She let the question hang.

“Hazel,” Frank said, “if I know one thing about Nico, it’s that he loves you. Have you ever tried to hate someone you love?”

In an instant, Hazel was in Alaska again, her mother raging, her mother crazy, her mother possessed by something unnatural— or  _ too  _ natural. She hated that thing taking over her mother’s body, her mother’s life, but… she could never bring herself to loathe the woman herself.

“Yes,” Hazel confessed.

“Then you already know…”

Hazel nodded. She understood, and she was tired. She slumped against a fir tree.

“Watch it!” the tree said.

Hazel winced. She’d forgotten about the dryads. “Sorry.” 

She shifted off of the tree onto the dirt. Frank sat beside her, watching intently— but not like how Reyna watched her. Lovingly, like she might do some little miracle and he didn’t want to miss it.

They talked for a very long time. They didn’t notice the minutes pass, but eventually, the sound of campfire singing brought them to their senses.

“The campfire?” Frank asked. “But I thought that was at 8:30.”

Hazel stood and dusted off the dirt on her clothes. “I guess we’ve been here longer than we thought. C’mon.”

They started their way back through the woods. But when the bright light of a golden campfire was finally visible through the trees, Hazel heard a noise off to her left: the tinkering of a small bell. It was her brother. He was talking to someone, and skipping out of the campfire while he was at it.

Hazel held out her arm to stop Frank as she listened. She looked left to find, past a small covering of trees, a small clearing, about the size of a bedroom, with a tree stump right in the center. Nico and Will were walking through the forest to get to the tree stump. She realized with a start that they were holding hands.

“... And you  _ wouldn’t  _ believe the size of that skull,” Nico said.

“Not human-sized?” Will asked teasingly.

Nico huffed. “It made itself  _ look  _ like a human, but it’s hard to manipulate the Mist once you’re dead.”

“A spoil of war, then?” Will asked. “Where did you fit it?”

“I left it there.”

Will laughed.

“Well, what was I supposed to do?” Nico asked. “Try to lug it through the Labyrinth with me? It was the size of a  _ slug-bug _ , Will!”

Will sat down on the tree stump. He patted his legs. “C’mere.”

Nico gave him a look.

“What?” Will asked. “It’s private here. Nobody’s watching.”

“ _ Some people _ are watching!” said a muffled girl’s voice from inside of an oak tree.

Will winced. “Nobody important’s watching.”

“Rude,” Nico said, though he said it with a smile.

“C’mon,” Will said. Then he paused. “We don’t have to do anything more than hold hands if you don’t want to. One word, Nico.”

Nico rolled his eyes. “I’m not… I’m playing hard to get.”

“You  _ are _ hard to get,” Will grumbled through a smile. “You’re not playing anything.”

He tugged on Nico’s hand, and Nico gave in. He sat on Will’s lap, facing him. They weren’t so close that they were touching or anything. Just the perfect distance for Will to run his hands down Nico’s arms, and for Nico to put his hands around Will’s neck when he was done. And for them to kiss.

The first one was quick and chaste— a little peck and nothing more. But then the second was a bit more intense. Not oh-my-gods-this-is-absolutely-going-somewhere, but not you’re-fine-with-your-grandmother-seeing-this either. It was a deep kiss, and it was romantic more than anything else. Intimate and close. Nico’s hands cupped around Will’s face. Will put one hand on Nico’s hip and the other on his chest, like he was ready to push him off or pull him closer at any second.

If Hazel had any doubts about what kind of relationship they had, they were resolved here: it was passionate and loving and definitely not platonic.

Hazel looked away, but she was happy to find that it was not because she was displeased or uncomfortable with two boys kissing. Rather, she just did not want to see her brother locking lips with his boyfriend— or anyone, for that matter.

“Let’s go,” Frank suggested, also looking uncomfortable.

“Agreed,” Hazel said.

When they got to the campfire, Frank sat next to Reyna, and Reyna sat next to Hazel. Down on the ground, a dark-skinned boy with dreadlocks was playing a riff on the guitar to put any skilled musician to shame. After he was done, Chiron stepped forward.

“Thank you, Austin,” he said. “Will, would you like to say anything about your brother’s performance?”

A dozen or so voices sounded from the section of the bleachers where the Apollo kids sat, all singing Austin’s praises in terrible imitations of Will’s subtle Southern twang.

“Thank you, Will,” Chiron said, his eyes sparkling.

Reyna leaned over to explain to Hazel and Frank. “Apparently, it’s a huge inside joke that Will and Nico are always conspicuously absent from meetings. Whenever there’s an event, Chiron will do that kind-of roll call for Will, knowing full well he won’t get a serious answer.”

Hazel and Frank exchanged a look, raised eyebrows and  _ I’m-not-going-to-tell-her- _ _ you-tell-her  _ expressions. 

The campfire went on as usual, a jovial time full of jokes, announcements, and jubilation. Hazel returned to Cabin 13 at about 10 to find Nico already asleep on the bed. Next to him was a note in hardly legible handwriting:  _ If you make me carry you one more time, I might just have to leave you in a ditch. Love, W.  _ There was a little heart drawn next to the “W.”

Hazel smiled and went over to her side of the room. Before she drew the partitioning curtain closed, she noticed a sticker on Nico’s bed she hadn’t seen before: a little rainbow flag, bending over the tube of the leg. It was small, but it was something. Hazel couldn’t help herself from grinning.

**Author's Note:**

> Anyway, I'm a loser.  
> I meant to add another section at the end with Hazel getting actively angry at people treating Nico and Will differently, but I decided it was long enough and I had homework stockpiling as it was. If you guys really want a part two, though, leave your thoughts in the comments! I'd love criticism, but keep it kind, folks! Drop a kudos and a couple of words if you liked this.   
> Happy Passover and Easter, everyone! Have a nice quarantine!


End file.
